Realistic Expectations

I read an article recently that I found truthful and troubling. It's located here: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/31/opinion/31brooks.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=about%20you&st=cse

Because I'm at work, I can't get the hyperlink tool to work. Anyway, after reading that I began to think about the other cultural contradictions that permeate our lives, especially in the context of Peace Corps, because Peace Corps has consumed my life. At any rate, some of the refrains I hear most often around the medical office are: Why is this applicant applying? Why do they think it's OK to go to Malawi if they have an embolized pulmonary AV malformation? If you're 84, why are you applying?

Peace Corps marketing shows all sorts of happy people with happy native children and girls in native dress, etc. They suggest that all sorts of people are volunteers--even those with disabilities. In reality, most of the volunteers are entitled, rich white kids. I say this not out of spite, but because I work with them every day. They tell invitees that Peace Corps Service is not a 2-year camping trip. In reality, yes, it is a 2-year camping trip. Most applicants, even the ones in Ukraine and Thailand, will haul their own water, want to die of boredom when they can't leave their house for four days during rainy season, and walk an hour every day to get to work. Many, if not most, of them come back wildly depressed and mildly alcoholic. Many of them never outgrow this. They may still say that Peace Corps was transformative and one of the best experiences of their lives, and they may fully mean it, but the transformation doesn't go away. There's no law anywhere that says the best experiences of our lives have to be positive. It all depends on your definition of best. My hearts breaks for all the friends I had before they went to Peace Corps and don't have now. But, I digress. Basically, Peace Corps indicates that it's a great experience and everyone should respond to the call to duty.

In America, in regard to disabilities, we have a culture that barrages people with messaging that disabled people can do everything the average person can. They just do it differently. To a large extent, in America, that is true. Emphasis on in America. America's cultural tolerance of such things far exceeds virtually any other country, even 1st world countries. Maybe in America you can be beautiful at 300 pounds, but that doesn't mean you can fit into a bush taxi in Cameroon. In fact, you absolutely can't. Realism is not something Americans like to think about.

So these poor applicants apply to Peace Corps thinking that it will all be OK, that they will be welcomed into their communities and settle in like everyone else. They are caught between unrealistic advertising, and cultural influences that encourage them to think they can do everything. No wonder they apply! They aren't exposed to the gritty truth of Peace Corps service. They don't hear that there is a limit to how far they can/should push themselves. The truth is, they will be a burden on their host families and on the medical officers in the country. They will be uncomfortable and likely unhappy through most of their service. To put it frankly, their service won't serve anyone.

Why do we do ourselves the disservice of thinking we can do anything? We can do a lot, and we should encourage ourselves to think that way, but we should also embrace realistic expectations.